I know. I know that there is this mechanism in all of us, leading and controlling our lives. It is not the purity of our soul. It is not the divine essence in you and me. No.
It is the beliefs, the conditioning we received from our imminent environment. During our childhood. In order to fit in and not to be left out in the cold and die, we learned to censor ourselves. We learned to silence our inner cries. We learned not to be.
In my own experience, my strategy of fitting in was annihilating myself. Depression, suicidal fantasies… I had to have them, I had to diminish my self because I was what was totally unacceptable in the environment I grew up in. I had to lock myself into a damp cupboard and never make a single noise. This might be something we all experienced during one time or another in our lives.
You and I had a nudge from our inner realm that there was something WRONG. There was something wrong all the way. Life was like living in a poison bottle. Everything I touched, every step I took, every breath I drew in was anointed with fear.
This is not a sorry story. This is us awakening. Awakening to the fact of conditioning. Awakening to our Dark Side of the Moon, where the unconscious conditioning lies and the tyrant in the dark rules our lives from a place where we cannot reach our light.
Sometimes we do not know that we accept. Sometimes we forget and forget that we forgot. Rules are learned without knowing. This is how it all works. This is what makes millions of people leave their homes every morning and go and spend their lives in some meaningless way in a factory or a business center. This is what makes many bound to poverty or a very limited income. We are made believe that the sources on Earth are limited. What heresy! This belief is keeping us in our place. Believing in limited sources keeps us where we are put. It keeps us living small. It keeps us serving to a system that is destroying our lives. This is Hell on Earth. Unconscious living.
Can we ever become fully conscious ? No, I do not think so. We cannot know everything. I am not looking forward to become conscious of my whole self anytime soon, at least.
Yet we can untangle our mind. We can throw small fireballs into the Dark Side of the Moon. At least momentarily or partially can we solve the mysteries and perhaps make the Dark Lord fall asleep. This might be the moment we save our selves.
See beyond the conditioning. See beyond all the lies they told you about yourself and the world. See your magnificence. Man is made in the image of the Universe. We are the Eternity. We are the ever cycling seasons. We are the dance of the Matter and Spirit. Break free of the binds that bind you. Once you start to realize them, you may be overwhelmed by their amount. Yet you are powerful beyond them. You are powerful beyond whatever is tangling around your feet. Reclaim your self.